That Dreaded Task

I am stalling. That's what I do. I don't want to do it, so I stall. I putter around. I let every existing distraction take over. I loiter online, I check my email, I even read the darn lotion bottle a couple of times. I pretend that all these other things are much more important.

I am a master procrastinator.

Why? Why don't I just do it and be done? Why don't I just eat that frog first? Do the dreaded thing and have peace?

I even watched this movie, http://eatthatfrogmovie.com/ to no avail.

I am always tackling that frog in the eleventh hour, when it's harder to eat. When it taste the worst and when it sits in your stomach like a rock, always risking the chance that it might only get half-eaten.

So here I am, finding yet another opportunity to avoid that dreaded task.

The Notebook

I have a notebook that I wrote in one night. From time to time I would run into it. . . but I can't get myself to open it.

That night felt strange and long. Throughout the night I wrote. I listened and watched. Kept glancing up, just to make sure . . .

I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I needed to be there. It was the only thing that I could do. I sat close and listened to the arrhythmic breathing. Periods of apneic pauses being abrupted by a loud gurgling snore. It was a rhythm I was familiar with and I knew that only hours remained.

During the night I wrote down my thoughts in that notebook. But now my thumbs won't open it up to reveal what they were. I just can't do it.

People vs. Animals

I am realizing that how I feel about people changes more often than how I feel about animals.

Animals, for the most part are consistent. You know what to expect from them. You know what they need or want. You know when you've got food they will be there. And when they get into trouble, you can shrug your shoulders and say, " It's an animal. I should have known better."

I love animals, all kinds. Slimy, fuzzy, even ugly ones. When I was a kid, I'd often go for walks alone in the woods and look for frogs, salamanders, snakes, and maybe even get to see a deer. It was so peaceful and I always felt like something had been alleviated. Even now, I still find comfort in animals.

People are more complex and you don't always know what their motives are. They can be good or bad. Animals are just animals.

. . . and if you wanna find me, I'll be out in the woods.

Sometimes stupid things strike me funny.

Sometimes you need to have a good laugh at something totally ridiculous. Saw these glasses at the store. Laughed. Had to get them. Wind up the wart on the nose, and the nose and mustache swing side to side. Ha!

I think I might stock up on these and start collecting things that might make people laugh. When someone feels down, I could just reach into a bag of laughs and pull something out to crack a smile.

Sometimes it takes a kid to say it.

Sometimes it takes a kid to say it.

We went to our elementary school's holiday sing along this morning. The gym was packed with children and parents. Half way through the singing, the principal made some announcements and asked the kids if they had any announcements to make. A small boy stood up, pointed at a man in uniform and shouted "There's a soldier here!" The child paused a moment and said "Thank you!". Everyone applauded, and we parents looked at each other with tear filled eyes in appreciation.

Thank you little boy for reminding us.

Trip Update

Listen folks, I am EXHAUSTED from my cross country road trip which lasted 19 days. I need a vacation from my vacation. It was a four-day drive to San Diego and a four-day drive back home. Six people in a van, with a bag of Honey Nut Cheerios and some Pop tarts. Some days we slept overnight at rest stops and some nights in a hotel. The worst part for me was when we drove through Colorado. Even though it was so beautiful, I barely took any pictures there because I had the death grip on the door handle, my eyes shut tight, and my right leg going crazy trying to find the imaginary brake on the passenger side. The van we were driving was at least a foot wider, if not more, than our minivan. I kept looking out at the side view mirror to see if the wheels were going over the white shoulder line. Yep. Speed limit 65 mph around curves (but everyone is doing 70+) , 6% grades, and I'm sitting on the shoulder.

It was always nice to see that approaching "Runaway truck ramp" sign or the "going downhill" sign. Shut eyes. Clench door and seat. Exaggerate foot braking motion. Yep, I'd start ahead of time. The pictures I took were either taking a blind shot or when things calmed down a bit. Though hubby was extremely patient with me, I eventually got kicked out of the front seat, before I gave myself a stroke. And it was getting dark. . .

(An actual Colorado photo taken by yours truly.)

Yep, it was a "let's sleep at a rest stop" night. We pulled into a dark rest area called "Grizzily Creek". I pretended that I didn't see the sign. Luckily, we only stopped for the restroom and moved on to the next stop.

Driving through mountains at night is worse than during the day. Hubby thought he could keep driving and that I would eventually fall asleep. Wrong. For some reason, I thought that if I fell asleep, we would all die or be hanging over a ledge waiting for that bird to land on the front of the van and tip it over the clift.

These are the Rocky Mountains for goodness sake! Two days of driving through mountains. My husband was wondering who this woman was in the front seat!

A minivan can be used for what???

Last year, out on a whim, we bought three alpacas and just LOVE them. Three months ago we bought two little ones that were just adorable.

Three weeks ago we bought 5 more! They have always been delivered to us, but this last time we needed to provide transport. Something came up with the livestock trailer that we were going to borrow, so we did what we had to do. Yep, bring the minivan and the SUV to pick them up. It' not unheard of, actually it seems pretty common to transport alpacas this way from the research I've done. They usually sit the whole time and don't mess the vehicle.

So it turns out that the ones I got in my vehicle were the screamer and the spitter. Yikes! Made me a little nervous at first, but thank God there was no more screaming after the animal got in the van. Aren't you supposed to sit when I start driving? Sit down. It's ok. Sit down. Don't sniff my hair. I just kept imagining myself getting out of the van after an hour drive, with green slime dripping from my hair. (I've seen alpacas spit at each other, not at human, AND YES IT IS GREEN!) Well, to get to the point, they finally sat down and no one spit and no one screamed. I talk to them and they would hum, and I thought this isn't so bad. When I was 10 minutes from home, they decided to stand up again and start walking around the van, sniff my hair once in a while. There was alot of traffic and I was thankful that I had tinted windows. You could have been in the next car and didn't even know there were alpacas next to you!

So I finally pull in the back yard with the van and I hear "water running". Couldn't you wait 5 seconds? Nothing a little soap and water won't fix . . .

Anyway, the spitter hasn't spat at any human on our farm. He comes up to me and eats out of my hand and we just love him. The screamer only screamed for us when he got his haircut, and he is the only one that did that. He's the "guard alpaca" on our farm and is always on alert to protect the herd. He'll run up to anything and anyone to inspect them.

If I had to do it again, would I put an alpaca in my car? You bet. As long as it wasn't the one who 's faucet turned on!

I almost Got Killed

I almost got killed driving to a patient's house. I had received typed up driving directions from MapQuest (of course) and where they led was almost to my doom. As I approached the street of the address, the road became essentially dirt with scattered patches of tar. An orange sign read "Local traffic only. Proceed at your own risk." I thought, it can't be that far down the road, so I proceeded. The road was a twisty slopey monster and it amazed me that there were houses on it. And it didn't get any better. Did I mention that my ABS was going on my car? I'd brake and get to the point where the car would almost stop . . . then change it's mind and go another foot. Not very reassuring when you're on an angle looking down. Then it came. The bottomless slope. From where I was it looked like a cliff that somebody paved for a joke. After the panic attack and screeching of tempermental breaks, I was able to turn around and retreat. A phone call to the patient revealed that there was another route to the house.

"We never drive down that hill. People have died because they couldn't stop."

Love is Spelled T - I - M - E

I think the title says alot, but here's a short video that says a little more:

http://www.tacmovie.com

My Nerve Agent Exposure

My close friend and co-worker, Nancy, and I just completed Homeland Security training at The Center for Domestic Preparedness (CDP) in Annistan, Alabama. The CDP is operated by FEMA and is the only civilian live-agent training facility in the country. We spent a week learning about Pandemic Influenza Planning and Preparedness (PIPP), and Weapons of Mass Destruction- Hands on Training (WMD-HOT). The information in these courses were packed tight like a can of sardines, and the instructors were experienced dynamic speakers. These were the best classes I've ever had.

In the WMD-HOT course we actually spent an hour in rooms with nerve gas, wearing Level C personal protective equipment, consisting of a full body suit, respirator and heavy rubber gloves. Exposure to nerve gas can kill someone in 15-20 minutes, and it isn't pretty. Nerve gas basically causes all your nerves to go bazerk. It causes "contraction of pupils, profuse salivation, convulsions, involuntary urination and defecation, and eventual death by asphyxiation as control is lost over respiratory muscles". Not to fear, there were plenty of Nerve Agent Antidote Kits nearby, but no one needed it..

The WMD-HOT course was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. You almost think you won't be able to do it. If you get through it, they give you a certificate and the desirable COBRA pin that you can only get if you've walked through nerve gas.

Additional information about CDP training programs can be found at https://cdp.dhs.gov/.