Embarrassing Moment

Nothing humbles you more after running errands all day and seeing people you know, only to go home and realize you've got a hole in your pants that is showing off your underwear and a little skin. WHEW. Glad it didn't happen to me. Cough cough.

Pregnant Alpaca udders and Bulging Butt

This is the pregnant alpaca butt bulge that appears from time to time but then gets sucked back in.



Here's a picture of alpaca udders. Buttercup looks closer and closer to delivery but I don't know when she is due. She laid around today and moan and groaned a little. The butt bulge was bigger, there was pink flesh peeking out, and her teats are bigger.



When is that baby coming??

New Pregnant Alpaca

We got a another pregnant alpaca over the weekend and are hoping for three babies this summer/fall. We've never had a cria (baby alpaca) born on the farm so I'm a little nervous. Most of the time they have the baby all by themselves. If you've been hanging out by the barn for hours, like me, staring at them to see if you there are any signs of when the baby's gonna come or fetal movement, you know they won't do anything until you decide to go to the store. She's finally gone, I gotta do this quick!

But there are times when you have to intervene with the delivery. You should see a nose and toes. If there's only one toe you might have to reach in and see if the leg is bent AND STRAIGHTEN IT. Yikes. Hopefully it won't be the back feet.

We have a vet that I can call to give him so he can be on standby in case something goes wrong. I also plan on having God and St. Francis on standby, so they can watch over my animals. All I know is that the second I see any impending signs of delivery, I am gonna start pacing and praying non-stop.

When is that baby coming?

I've been watching udder development since April and the bulge under her tail, and there has been steady progress. She is a maiden female and we thought she was due in September, but I think she might have been bred earlier. The text book says that maidens don't usually have udder development until right before or after delivery and that the bulge under the tail means no longer than a month before baby's born. Life doesn't follow text books, I know, but this is driving me crazy! I've been reading birthing threads on alpacanation and anywhere online I can find, to give me an idea if she could possibly still be due in September with all of these signs going on. I still don't know for sure, but I think she could have the baby anytime.

I am so glad my husband said "No."

I'm the type that wants all kinds of animals and will say yes to almost any creature. My husband is the one who usually says, "No", but he does surprise me sometimes. This is one time I was glad he didn't say "yes".

I didn't know that ostriches were that tall! We were thinking about getting unique animals on our farm and we thought about ostriches. That would be neat. Big birds, big eggs. But then we read that they they have a 500 ppsi kick, we decided we'd rather keep our children alive and in one piece. You actually have to herd them with a piece of plywood with holes cut it for your arms so you don't get hurt. Who needs that trouble?

So then we got alpacas and now we're hooked.

Udder Watch

There is nothing more annoying than someone constantly peering at you from underneath.

I'm on udder watch with one of my pregnant alpacas. Yes I know, she isn't due until September, but in the last month her teats have swelled. So I spend way too much time staring underneath her to see if there are any changes in her udder. Blame it on the text books that say maiden alpacas don't form an udder sometimes until after delivery. So, in my inexperience, everyday I'm thinking birth could be imminent, because maybe she was bred another time. She was in a pen for a while with a 6-month boy who seemed very hormonal. I didn't think he knew what he was doing, but there is a chance he could be a young daddy, and then she would be due within the next month.

This has been going on for a month, me peeking underneath. It's an obsession. Here she is with the camera again. The other thing is that the other girl due in September doesn't have ant teat changes going on, so that's also why I'm thinking this one is due sooner.

I wish there were more pictures of udder development online so that I knew what I am looking at and could determine when she is due.

A watched alpaca never births. I've heard that they hold it in until no one is looking.

Can I plant these outside yet?

I planted vegetable seeds with the kids, maybe a little too early! I found a bean growing above my fireplace and I am worried I will find a corn cob or a pumpkin soon!



Time to go outside!

Alpaca Shearing Day

Our alpaca shearing day is tomorrow! This is when the alpacas usually decide to roll in the hay, or sit in a mud puddle, prior to their hair appointment. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that the barn won't flood from the rain.

Boy, do I sound like a glass-half-empty person! But, really, I'm excited that they'll have their haircuts, and I can finally get a closer look at my pregnant female's udders. I keep getting these crazy thoughts that she's due earlier than we thought, but I'm also paranoid sometimes.

The only thing I really worry about is that my two pregnant females are totally nuts now and they might not behave and flail off the table. Hope all goes well.

I wonder if St. Francis has any experience with alpacas.

Making Stuff from Alpaca Fleece- How do they do it?

You get all this fluffy stuff after an alpaca gets a haircut and then what? It sits in your basement in bag loads until you realize that the next shearing day is approaching. And there are eight animals that will be producing even more bags of fleece in April. Yikes!

I am on a mission. People make all sorts of wonderful things with this soft fluffy stuff and I just hoard it in the basement. Alpaca is a luxury fiber which makes beautiful yarns, felted hats and purses, felted animals, and even fiber art. But I'm just a hoarder.



So, like I said, I am on a mission. I joined a spinning guild in hopes that I can be productive with all the fluff. This is my first attempt in making yarn with a drop spindle. A spindle is the cheaper alternative to a spinning wheel, and this one is made from two CD's and a stick with a hook. Very flashy. Ha. As you can see, my first yarn is very nonuniform, but there is hope yet! It can be called art yarn! Yes! There is an art yarn niche, somewhere.


Okay, the next thing I tried was to make felt out of alpaca. Soap, water, fiber layered in alternating directions, and friction. Now you've got a homemade soft and warm fabric called felt. Not bad for the first try.

Now, I want to learn how to make hats. So I found this video:




If this 9 year old girl can do it, so can I. Right?

Sometimes it takes a kid to say it.

Sometimes it takes a kid to say it.

We went to our elementary school's holiday sing along this morning. The gym was packed with children and parents. Half way through the singing, the principal made some announcements and asked the kids if they had any announcements to make. A small boy stood up, pointed at a man in uniform and shouted "There's a soldier here!" The child paused a moment and said "Thank you!". Everyone applauded, and we parents looked at each other with tear filled eyes in appreciation.

Thank you little boy for reminding us.

Trip Update

Listen folks, I am EXHAUSTED from my cross country road trip which lasted 19 days. I need a vacation from my vacation. It was a four-day drive to San Diego and a four-day drive back home. Six people in a van, with a bag of Honey Nut Cheerios and some Pop tarts. Some days we slept overnight at rest stops and some nights in a hotel. The worst part for me was when we drove through Colorado. Even though it was so beautiful, I barely took any pictures there because I had the death grip on the door handle, my eyes shut tight, and my right leg going crazy trying to find the imaginary brake on the passenger side. The van we were driving was at least a foot wider, if not more, than our minivan. I kept looking out at the side view mirror to see if the wheels were going over the white shoulder line. Yep. Speed limit 65 mph around curves (but everyone is doing 70+) , 6% grades, and I'm sitting on the shoulder.

It was always nice to see that approaching "Runaway truck ramp" sign or the "going downhill" sign. Shut eyes. Clench door and seat. Exaggerate foot braking motion. Yep, I'd start ahead of time. The pictures I took were either taking a blind shot or when things calmed down a bit. Though hubby was extremely patient with me, I eventually got kicked out of the front seat, before I gave myself a stroke. And it was getting dark. . .

(An actual Colorado photo taken by yours truly.)

Yep, it was a "let's sleep at a rest stop" night. We pulled into a dark rest area called "Grizzily Creek". I pretended that I didn't see the sign. Luckily, we only stopped for the restroom and moved on to the next stop.

Driving through mountains at night is worse than during the day. Hubby thought he could keep driving and that I would eventually fall asleep. Wrong. For some reason, I thought that if I fell asleep, we would all die or be hanging over a ledge waiting for that bird to land on the front of the van and tip it over the clift.

These are the Rocky Mountains for goodness sake! Two days of driving through mountains. My husband was wondering who this woman was in the front seat!

A minivan can be used for what???

Last year, out on a whim, we bought three alpacas and just LOVE them. Three months ago we bought two little ones that were just adorable.

Three weeks ago we bought 5 more! They have always been delivered to us, but this last time we needed to provide transport. Something came up with the livestock trailer that we were going to borrow, so we did what we had to do. Yep, bring the minivan and the SUV to pick them up. It' not unheard of, actually it seems pretty common to transport alpacas this way from the research I've done. They usually sit the whole time and don't mess the vehicle.

So it turns out that the ones I got in my vehicle were the screamer and the spitter. Yikes! Made me a little nervous at first, but thank God there was no more screaming after the animal got in the van. Aren't you supposed to sit when I start driving? Sit down. It's ok. Sit down. Don't sniff my hair. I just kept imagining myself getting out of the van after an hour drive, with green slime dripping from my hair. (I've seen alpacas spit at each other, not at human, AND YES IT IS GREEN!) Well, to get to the point, they finally sat down and no one spit and no one screamed. I talk to them and they would hum, and I thought this isn't so bad. When I was 10 minutes from home, they decided to stand up again and start walking around the van, sniff my hair once in a while. There was alot of traffic and I was thankful that I had tinted windows. You could have been in the next car and didn't even know there were alpacas next to you!

So I finally pull in the back yard with the van and I hear "water running". Couldn't you wait 5 seconds? Nothing a little soap and water won't fix . . .

Anyway, the spitter hasn't spat at any human on our farm. He comes up to me and eats out of my hand and we just love him. The screamer only screamed for us when he got his haircut, and he is the only one that did that. He's the "guard alpaca" on our farm and is always on alert to protect the herd. He'll run up to anything and anyone to inspect them.

If I had to do it again, would I put an alpaca in my car? You bet. As long as it wasn't the one who 's faucet turned on!

I almost Got Killed

I almost got killed driving to a patient's house. I had received typed up driving directions from MapQuest (of course) and where they led was almost to my doom. As I approached the street of the address, the road became essentially dirt with scattered patches of tar. An orange sign read "Local traffic only. Proceed at your own risk." I thought, it can't be that far down the road, so I proceeded. The road was a twisty slopey monster and it amazed me that there were houses on it. And it didn't get any better. Did I mention that my ABS was going on my car? I'd brake and get to the point where the car would almost stop . . . then change it's mind and go another foot. Not very reassuring when you're on an angle looking down. Then it came. The bottomless slope. From where I was it looked like a cliff that somebody paved for a joke. After the panic attack and screeching of tempermental breaks, I was able to turn around and retreat. A phone call to the patient revealed that there was another route to the house.

"We never drive down that hill. People have died because they couldn't stop."

My Nerve Agent Exposure

My close friend and co-worker, Nancy, and I just completed Homeland Security training at The Center for Domestic Preparedness (CDP) in Annistan, Alabama. The CDP is operated by FEMA and is the only civilian live-agent training facility in the country. We spent a week learning about Pandemic Influenza Planning and Preparedness (PIPP), and Weapons of Mass Destruction- Hands on Training (WMD-HOT). The information in these courses were packed tight like a can of sardines, and the instructors were experienced dynamic speakers. These were the best classes I've ever had.

In the WMD-HOT course we actually spent an hour in rooms with nerve gas, wearing Level C personal protective equipment, consisting of a full body suit, respirator and heavy rubber gloves. Exposure to nerve gas can kill someone in 15-20 minutes, and it isn't pretty. Nerve gas basically causes all your nerves to go bazerk. It causes "contraction of pupils, profuse salivation, convulsions, involuntary urination and defecation, and eventual death by asphyxiation as control is lost over respiratory muscles". Not to fear, there were plenty of Nerve Agent Antidote Kits nearby, but no one needed it..

The WMD-HOT course was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. You almost think you won't be able to do it. If you get through it, they give you a certificate and the desirable COBRA pin that you can only get if you've walked through nerve gas.

Additional information about CDP training programs can be found at https://cdp.dhs.gov/.

Funny Belly Instruction Book- Gag GIft

So don't Suck it in! With a little humor and imagination, have some fun with your belly. You just might never want to go back to flat!

(96 pages) Paperback: $14.95

Camera Shy Alpacas

Here are the newest members of our farm family. Three alpacas. My husband and I built their stall in our barn and fixed the fence in our yard today. Today they could roam free. They are the neatest animals I have seen. And by neat I mean they are tidy poop-conscious animals. One of them picked a spot in the yard to go and the others stood in line to wait their turn to go in that same spot. Just like a line in the rest room!

They make the funniest noise too. Sounds like "hmmmm". Hahaha. It makes me crack up.

They are gentle creatures, don't challenge fences, and are really low maintenance. Heck, they poop in one spot in the whole yard! And the best part is that they are so so so soft and their fleece is in high demand.

We are still looking for good names. This one above I was thinking of calling "Surfer Dude". Their faces all look so curious and they have stylish bangs. Haha. I just love them!

A Duck Called Einstein

Einstein was one of the 5 ducks that I incubated and hatched this past summer. She had a big poofball on the top of her head and was the loudest quacker of the group. She was beautiful and she was my favorite. This morning when the ducks were out in the yard, the neighbor's cat got her. We will miss her.

Bag Grabs More Than Your Attention

What the ----? Weird enough to catch your eye, I love this bag promoting an anti-nail biting product. I don't bite my nails but it makes me want to buy the stuff just so I can walk around with that bag.

If there were a purse like that you bet I'd be the first to get one. I might be the only one.

Rebecca, can you make me a purse like that? Love it!

Toe After the Bowling Ball Incident

My toes look much better now, don't they?

On July 25th, I dropped a bowling ball on my left big toe. It throbbed like hell the first day, but I received a half dozen complements on the pretty light blue color my toenail had turned. Old blood pooled under my nail and half of it detached. It actually added some amusement to my life. Often I would summon unsuspecting passerbys and would stick my foot out to display the status of my toenail.

The face of disgust has always been extremely satisfying to me.

I love to evoke this reaction in people. There is something appealing about the sudden distortion of the facial features and often accompanying groan.

Actually, this is what my toe looks like now. Half the nail became detached and was flapping around. I had to keep popping it back in place under the skin. So I cut it off and the pink part of the nail is still attached. There's a new nail growing in at the bottom. If you look closely, you can still see the sand from my fishing trip. Yum.

Toenail regrowth takes longer than you'd think. Don't take them for granted.

Added 11/13 : Three months later, it doesn't look half bad.

Worm Juice Under Your Nails

There is nothing like the feeling of worm juice underneath your fingernails. It's been a while since I've been fishing and I was worried that I had gotten too girly. I was cutting up the meaty nightcrawler with the tackle pliers, and having 4 kids with me, I couldn't get the worms hooked fast enough. The heck with these, I threw the tool away and just ripped them in half with my nails the way God intended it. [My husband needed the pliers anyway to fix the fishing line. ] So I dug in my nails and ripped the wigglers in thirds and threaded them on the hooks. After the first one, I no longer felt disgust. It felt like an accomplishment having worm juice under my nails, and not needing to run and wash off my hands. Back to my old tomboy ways. It was very refreshing.

We must have caught 20 fish all together and I hadn't had that much fun in a long time. My husband kept trying to help with getting the hooks out of the fish, but I said "No, I got it." If it was gross, I wanted to do it. Ahhhhh.

This was just what I needed, a little worm juice.